Thursday 22 October 2015

Building Self Esteem In Children With Autism And Asperger Syndrome

Children with autism have a much harder time with their self-esteem. They often perceive the constant correction of their behaviors and their social interactions as criticism. The frequent visits to doctors, or speech therapists, or OTs, the testing and the stream of interventions that we try with them can easily leave them feeling like they're under the microscope, a specimen that warrants investigation, a person who needs fixing.

Expressive and comprehensive communication also have a direct impact on a child's self-esteem. These are areas that do not come easily to children or adults with autism/AS. Understanding subtle jokes and participating in human interplay, actions natural to their neuro-typical peers, further increase their feelings of 'not fitting in' and erode their self-esteem.

Combine all this with the expectations of siblings and the all-too-frequent bullying interactions from many peers and it's easy to understand how devastated a child with an autism spectrum disorder can feel.

What can we do? It's critical for us, as family members, educators, and professionals to learn strategies and techniques! In our not-too-distant past, institutional placement was the standard intervention for people with autism/AS. While that is not the case today, we still encounter lack of understanding and appreciation for the unique qualities of the person with ASD. Everyone, especially these visual learners, need a constant reminder of how special they truly are. We must find ways to give them their own Teddy Bear (or dinosaur!) so they will feel "L.C.B." on their own.

It Starts with US

But how do we really build their self-esteem? It starts with us examining our own ideas of how we view children with autism/AS. We must believe in their value ourselves before we can ever change their minds. These kids know when we're faking our compliments or arbitrarily handing out encouragement because the therapy book says we should give 5 positive comments to each correction. It involves empathy, walking in their shoes, rather than sympathy; no one wants to be felt sorry for. Each child is a gift, with his or her own special qualities. We just need to look for these special gifts, tune into the child with our hearts, and bring their essence out.

It Goes on to Others

Knowledge is power and no where is it more powerful than in helping people better understand what it's like to have autism/AS. Explain autism to everyone involved with the child. This will increase their empathy and provide opportunities for genuine praise and encouragement. Explain autism to the child, too, when he is able to understand his disability. Who are we really kidding, other than ourselves, when we pretend a child does not have the autism label or we try to camouflage it? Who are we hurting? It's the child with autism who is hurt in the long run.

Go to conferences, read books, research and share information that takes into consideration the many sensory, social, behavioral and communication challenges faced by the child at his/her functioning level. Armed with this understanding of how the disability affects the child, you and others can better find ways to help him or her fit in.

Remember to teach extended family, educators, other parents and professionals all you can to help integration and provide a deeper understanding when trying to teach particular skills. Be intuitive when advocating for children and persistent in your approach, though not abrasive. Having a positive mental attitude, especially when advocating, helps others want to cooperate with us. After all, who wants to deal with anyone cranky?

Bridge the interactions between peers and the child with autism. Visually and verbally interpret what you think they both are thinking and/or feeling based on your own experiences when you were their age, and your understanding of autism.

By teaching others about autism, more people will become aware of this invisible disability. When people understand empathetically, they will more naturally accept the child with autism, as he is. This is often effective in reducing or eliminating bullying from peers, too.

Learn to correct behaviors by sandwiching the correction in the middle of positive feedback. For example, "Sammy, you are doing a great job cleaning your room. If you pick up the clothes over there it would look even neater. Boy, you sure are a good listener."

Be Positive!

Children with autism often times have an incredible sense of humor. I have to stop myself from laughing so my own son doesn't feel like I'm laughing "at" him, causing him to feel inadequate. Sometimes I'll even say "I'm not laughing at you, Jonny, I'm laughing with you."

Stress the positives! Look for the good in every child, even if you don't see it at first. Pretending to be Pollyanna can only help, but make sure you're genuine in what you say. Stress the good effort your child is making, if he hasn't yet achieved a goal. Show your confidence in his abilities by telling him that you believe he can succeed. Saying things like this that may not be 100% true initially will contribute to your child's trust and belief in himself, raising his self-esteem and encouraging self-motivation to continue trying.

Model a mental attitude of "things are great". Express yourself in the positive, rather than the negative. Kids with autism/AS are masters at copying what others say, so make sure they're hearing things that are good for them to copy! When we say, "you are great!" to a child often enough, he, too, will believe it and feel valued for who he truly is.

Encourage children to share their thoughts and feelings; this is so important and often sheds new light on existing situations. My son, Jonathan was temporarily removed from the bus after cutting the seat. At first we thought he was acting out, so we had him write an apology to his bus driver. When we read his letter, we discovered that he was being bullied by another student on the bus and that it had been going on for quite some time. We intervened appropriately. The other child was reprimanded and Jonny was taught appropriate methods of expressing his anger in the future.

Balance the Physical with the Mental and Spiritual

Like most people, kids with autism feel better about themselves when they're balanced physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Since they are often very picky eaters and gravitate towards junk food, it's important to try supplementing their diet. Also, provide regular physical activity, when possible, to relieve stress and clear their mind. Set the stage for success by acknowledging their achievements - however small - and reminding them of their past accomplishments. Keep their life manageable and doable, refraining from overwhelming them with so many activities that they become too challenged physically and mentally to succeed at anything. Provide choices to them frequently so they understand they have a say in their own lives and even let them be in charge sometimes. These are all great ways to build self-esteem!

Don't overlook giving them opportunities to connect with their spiritual side through religious avenues or by communing with nature. This can help them feel purposeful, that their lives have meaning and connected with their source.

A strategy that helped raise Jonathan's self-esteem, especially in overcoming his victim thoughts and feelings, was spiritual affirmations. Using affirmations took some time, but we found that it brought calm and peace to Jonathan and our family.

Dr. Jerry Jampolsky, author of Love is Letting Go Of Fear and founder of the Center for Attitudinal Healing, offers many principles I find helpful in teaching us to love ourselves, thereby enhancing self-esteem, both in ourselves and then with others. Some of his principles include:

" The essence of our being is love
" Health is inner peace
" Live in the now
" Become love finders rather than fault finders
" Learn to love others and ourselves by forgiving rather than judging
" We can choose to be peaceful inside regardless of what's going on outside
" We're all students and teachers to each other.

Part of Jerry's message is that by focusing on life as a whole, rather than in fragments, we can see what is truly important. His concepts, when embraced, positively affect how a child with autism thinks and feels about him or herself. Anger, resentment, judgment and similar feelings are all forms of fear. Since love and fear cannot co-exist, letting go of fear allows love to be the dominant feeling.

Look for the Miracles Daily, there are miracles and good things happening all around us. Learn intimately the challenges that children with autism/AS face in their everyday lives. Be on their team by tuning into who they truly are - unique expressions of divine light. Empower them to be themselves, perfectly okay with who and how they are. Do this by loving them for who they are now, today, not who you think they should become, after ABA, or speech therapy or learning 'appropriate' social skills. Consider that children and adults with autism/AS are wonderful beings here to teach us empathy, compassion, understanding and most importantly, how to love. Most importantly, do whatever it takes to include them in life rather than merely integrate their presence.

In genuine star sapphires there are tiny imperfections and inclusions that reflect light perfectly to form a star in the stone. Each child with autism is like this precious gem, unique in every way. Without the tiny inclusions, there would be no star. It is our job as parents, educators and professionals to "bring out the stars" in all of our special children by shining the light on their natural beauty. In so doing, we see their different abilities rather than their disabilities. And, then they will see them, too.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder 101

This is a type of mental disorder, which occurs primarily in school-aged children but can also be diagnosed for the first time in the late teens esp., if some of its symptoms are left unnoticed. It was once falsely thought that after puberty the children don?t need treatment. These types of children are given special advantages under Section 54 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973.

Diagnosis

The disorder, as described in DSM IV-TR, is best characterized by three main symptoms of impulsivity, hyperactivity and inattention. For making a diagnosis in a child the disorder must start before age 7 and the symptoms must continue for 6 months. Children having signs of impulsivity and hyperactivity are restless, unpredictability, tendency to fail, difficult to stay seated and blurting answers without even giving thought. Feelings of inattention are getting distracted, making careless mistakes and trying to finish off things very fast. Although they start very fast but quickly jump to another job without completing the former one. Besides these other symptoms are vision problems such as double vision

Cause

The cause is still not clear. Among the hypotheses are anatomical structural problems in frontal lobes and the basal ganglia of the brain. Some propose the theory of genetics. Others claim that certain environmental causes are smoking and having alcohol in pregnancy. Finally some hypothesize that taking artificial sweeteners and additives might be the cause.

Differential diagnosis

Certain disorders such as autism, certain personality disorders, oppositional defiant disorder and learning disorders might at times mimic ADHD and mislead the doctors. Some disorders like bipolar disorder may accompany ADHD. Some children with ADHD may eventually develop some conduct disorder or anxiety or depression. Untreated the child is prone to both the social and family problems besides decreased self-esteem.

Management

The first step in the diagnosis of the disorder is to interview the parents and then the teachers although psychologists, psychiatrists, pediatricians or the teachers of the child can diagnose the disorder. Generally the parents are not the first to notice. The best person to manage the child in this context is a psychiatrist. There are basically two sets of management and both are to be given simultaneously in order to manage the child. The disorder might run forever. Nutrition and child psychotherapy do not seem to help in the treatment.

Medical

Although there are different medications available in the market but the most effective ones are adderal, Ritalin and strattera. Like all other CNS medicines, these are not without any side effects. For e.g. adderal has side effects of nervousness, irritability, dry mouth, sleeplessness and stomach upset. Similarly Ritalin causes above symptoms and decreased appetite. Strattera comes with the side effects of insomnia and anorexia.

Teachers: Could You Use The 10 Best Classroom Management Interventions To Turnaround Problem Behavior?

Unless you work with easy, mellow students, you will love our "Top 10 Best Classroom Management Interventions to Turnaround Problem Student Behavior." These interventions are taken from Youth Change Workshop's Solution Center (www.youthchg.com). There are hundreds of strategies on the site, ready to be used by teachers, counselors and youth workers. If classroom or group management is an on-going nightmare, it will take more than these ten new techniques to transform your class or group into a dream, so be sure to check out the web site for methods that are especially designed to rein in even the most uncontrollable students.

1. Teacher Telegram (or Counselor, Therapist... Telegram)

A veteran, "world-class" special ed teacher was working with a student when the child suddenly flipped over his desk and fled the room. You won't believe what this teacher had done! She had written on the student's math paper! That child interpreted that help to mean that the teacher thought he was too stupid to do the work himself, and bolted from the room in anger. Of course, had this teacher known that the child would react in that manner, she would have been happy to let the child do the writing, or she could have written on scratch paper instead.

This incident is a classic, common situation that could have easily been avoided if only the teacher had known the child's views. The Teacher Telegram surveys your youngsters to gather the information you need to avoid problems that can perhaps be averted or minimized. Make your telegram have about five finish-the-sentence statements, and include queries like: "Some of the things I like about your class are...," "The one thing I wish you would do differently is...," "The one thing that helps me is...," "The one thing that does not help me is...," and "My other comments are..." You may be pleasantly surprised at how much this little device, done periodically, can reduce or end problems.

2. Studies have indicated that when girls are involved in sports, they are far less likely to become pregnant, drop out or engage in serious misbehavior. To encourage your female students to consider sports, ask your girls to craft collages or posters entitled "Silly Boys, Sports Are for Girls."

3. A Taste of the Real World

It can be very hard to convince youth that they will desperately need education. For children who have very poor reading skills, here's an interesting and compelling activity. Create a menu in a foreign language and ask the students to order. To get you started, here are some Dutch dinner items, but you can also go to a page like and enter English menu terms and have the words translated into German, French or other language. You may wish to actually serve some of the items your students order. Select items that are very likely to be viewed as distasteful, so you might consider offering treats like sardines, stewed prunes and liver, foods that might be thoroughly disliked, but are easy to purchase.

Choose Your Dinner Gebakken garnalen (Pan-Roasted Shrimp) Gegrilde lamskoteletten (Grilled Lamb Chops) Vegeratische pastachotel (Vegetarian Pasta) Rijstpudding met frambozencoulis (Rice Pudding) When your students protest that they can't figure out what to do, let them know that could be their on-going adult experience in the world if they don't learn to read.

4. Education-- You Can't Live Life Without It

Ask your students to list out the most difficult things that they may face during their lives. Elicit answers like manage a serious illness or find a job. After reviewing the list, ask the students to identify if education would help or hurt in each situation. Assist students to note that education almost always helps, and never hurts. Assist  students to realize: Education-- You Can't Live Life Without It.

5. There's Always Welfare Hurry up.

Welfare is going the way of the buggy and 8 track tape deck. The number of welfare recipients has dropped a phenomenal 50% in the past six years. Plus, in most cases, you can be on welfare for five years and then you are out for life,-- yes, life. The amount of money given out is down by as much as 90% in some places. The average person may live nearly 80 years so welfare may be available only 6% of the time. To convey how tiny 6% is to your youngsters, give 6% of your class a small treat, like a mint. Or, give each student $300 in play money and then take all but 6% away, leaving each youngster with just $18.

6. Three Little Lies

To convincingly teach students how hard it is to tell and keep a lie, ask each youngster to tell three lies about things that are occurring that day. So, a typical lie might be: "I have pink hair," said by a brunette. Ask students to repeat each lie at least three times an hour all day. The next day, discuss how much energy, concentration and focus it took to maintain those lies, and relate the discussion to actual lies students have told in the past. Include in the discussion: "Who does lying really fool?" Assist students to realize that in many ways, the liar really most fools himself or herself.

7. Pay Attention

Adults often expect young people to magically know how to pay attention, but no one may have actually taught the child how to do so. To teach the skills needed to pay attention, teach each of these five skills one at a time: Get your area ready, get yourself ready, watch the action, listen to the action, control your body. You should use pictures, rag dolls or other attention-grabbing devices to teach and drill the skills into habits. But, until you teach the skills, you shouldn't expect them.

8. Can You Compute?

Internet and/or computer skills are becoming required for almost any job. You may have to scan a badge to clock in at your job, or log onto a network to get your assignments. Have your students strut their stuff by performing internet or computer tasks. Here's one to start: Find where to get bakeapples, and locate a shipper to transport. Answer: Bakeapples are a Newfoundland, Canada food; UPS could provide shipping. Discuss with students where they can hone key internet and computer skills.

9. Computers Rule

For good or bad, computers are becoming absolutely key to everyday work and living. More and more mail is being sent over the internet, but at the same time, spam is becoming a bigger and bigger hassle. Here at Youth Change, we receive about 300 spams each day. It has gotten harder and harder to spot the real e-mail from the junk e-mail. In fact, an invitation to present our workshop in Europe was at first deleted as  our spam deletion program thought it was junk mail. So,  save up your real mail and junk e-mail (eliminating offensive or personal items) then ask students to sort through a very large amount of e-mail. Alternatively, create simulated e-mails to use instead. Note how many times important items like bills, renewal notices, and password information, are deleted. Be sure to include bogus virus alerts, e-mails containing "viruses", and deceptive offers in the e-mails you give students to process. When students mishandle items, note that education and computer training can help.

10. Misbehaved Employees Wanted

To show students that present classroom management problems, that misbehavior won't be tolerated in the adult world, ask them to search the employment classified ads for employers who seek employees with behavior problems.

Successful Childhood Learning Starts With Reading Aloud

Research has consistently shown that children who love to read excel in school and continue to excel in higher education and life in later years. Reading aloud with your child is key to sparking the passion for reading.

Popular theory in the world of education has long been that a young child is an empty slate, just waiting to have information poured into them. That theory has promoted the idea that learning by rote will make a child smarter, and thus more likely to succeed. But studies of the last fifteen years or so have turned such thinking on its ear ' the new thought behind early childhood development is not to shove a book under their noses and say 'learn,' rather, it's to show your child how to learn, by reading with them, and forging not just an interest, but a real pleasure out of what the printed word can bring.

Let's looks at an example: 'The filibuster is a strategy employed in the United States Senate, whereby a minority can delay a vote on proposed legislation by making long speeches or introducing irrelevant issues. A successful filibuster can force withdrawal of a bill, and filibusters can be ended only by cloture.'

Pretty interesting, huh? No? Well, to be honest, we didn't think it would be. The fact of the matter is, if you don't have a passion for politics, a piece of information about a political process will likely go in one ear and out the other, even if you're forced to read the passage more than once. You could read it two or three times, memorize the words, and even be tested on them, but will you still remember that information next week? How about in a month?

When your child goes to school and is told to read several pages in a book that doesn't interest them, they're going through the exact same thing you just experienced. If there's no inherent passion for reading, and no passion for the subject matter, then there will be minimal retention at the end of it all.

A study of 74 schools by the UK National Foundation for Educational Research found that 'fewer youngsters believe reading is difficult, compared with 10 years ago. However, there is a substantial decrease in pupils reading for pleasure. 65% of 9-year-olds and 73% of 11-year-olds said they did not think reading was difficult, compared with 56% and 62% respectively in 1998. Just over 7 out of 10 of the younger age group enjoy reading as a pastime, compared with 78% five years ago, while for 11-year-olds, the proportion has declined from 77% to 65%. Children said they preferred watching television to going to the library or reading. But the biggest changes in attitudes were among boys. In Year 6, only 55% of boys said they enjoyed stories compared with 70% in 1998.'

Why? Perhaps other statistics in the same report might have some insight:

24% of children under the age of 4 had television sets in their bedrooms
More than 50% of children over the age of 4 have their own TVs
28% have computer games in their rooms
8.5% of under-fours have a VCR in their rooms
The Florida Center for Reading Research (FCRR) recommends that parents read with their child for at least fifteen minutes every day, all the way through third grade, stating, 'Before you read each book, read the title and look at the cover and pictures inside. Ask your child what [he or] she thinks the book may be about. After reading the book, review [his or] her predictions. Was the prediction right? If not, what happened instead?'

The object in such an exercise is threefold: You make reading an interactive experience that a child can enjoy much as they do playing in the yard, you give the child an opportunity to ask questions about things they don't understand, and you promote creative thought within your child, where they learn to assess what they see, critically appraise it, and think beyond what they're seeing on the page.

The FCRR advice goes further, recommending a weekly trip with your child to the library, and rhyming games that make your child think about how words are put together, all of which are intended to show your child that reading is just as much fun off-the-page as it is on.

The ultimate object is to convince your child to open a book for fun, in their spare time, and thus begin a lifelong enjoyment of the written word and the information that books can bring. This doesn't just help them at school - according to the NCREL, readers 'have self-confidence that they are effective learners [and] see themselves as agents able to actualize their potential.'

It's important for every parent to realize the value of literacy in their child, at the earliest age possible, but it's even more important to understand the value of comprehension, and how you can help that seed take root.

When Your Child is the Target of a Bully or Excessive Criticism

My seven-year old daughter is adopted from Kazakhstan. She came to this country when she was five and a half not knowing any English. She lived in an orphanage her entire life and knew none of the comforts most children experience when they are babies and toddlers. She was a scared, abused little girl who suddenly found herself in America with a strange family, attending a real school for the first time in her life. She was the target of some of the cruelest and meanest comments I have ever heard come out of the mouths of five and six year old kids.

She is beautiful but had trouble with her balance and her gait. Her large motor skills were not fully formed yet. Her hair was chopped off and growing back unevenly. She had black and blue marks all over her from the beatings she took and from falling down frequently. She had over twenty warts all over her hands. Obviously, her English was non-existent. She stuck out like a sore thumb on the first day of Kindergarten. She was terrified and hadn?t really bonded to me yet. I knew some Russian, enough to communicate with her, but mostly I just had to stand by and watch her crying uncontrollably. She was terrified. The kids were all staring at her and some were laughing. One little girl came up and put her arm around her. My daughter reacted by hitting her. She wasn?t used to any kind of affection. It was a nightmare. I couldn?t leave her like that, so I decided to go to school with her until she felt comfortable and could at least speak some English. I went back to Kindergarten for eight weeks with her, every day. What an eye-opener!

I would like to report that most kids in this situation were kind; however, that was not the case. They didn?t know how to deal or react to a child from a foreign country with no social skills. As my daughter settled in to her new routine, she tried to catch on to our customs. She sang The Pledge of Allegiance every morning in some mixed up language. The kids would laugh at her, even rolling on the floor buckled over to prove their point. She would wear her pants pulled all the way up over her belly and refused to wear skirts or dresses. The girls would make fun of her and imitate her behavior in a cruel way. She would run on the playground with a slight limp and occasionally fall down. No one would help her up. Some kids literally walked right over her. Her writing was awful because she had never held a pencil before. Her drawings were posted in the room with everyone else?s but the kids would constantly make fun of her creations. As her English began to improve and she tried her best to communicate, the kids began ignoring her. She was hard to understand so she became a loner. She was desperate for a friend. During Kindergarten, it never was to be. Other parents were as cruel as their kids, openly handing out birthday party invitations and leaving my daughter out. Luckily she has a strong spirit and is a survivor, so she hung in there and put on a happy face enjoying her new found freedom. However, inside, she was hurting badly.

As she got older, she realized she had no friends. Now she is in second grade. She doesn?t fall down anymore, she writes beautifully, dances like a professional, is a star soccer player and doesn?t pull her pants up anymore, but she still won?t wear dresses. She is the victim of criticism and cruelty many days. Now the kids just ignore her and won?t include her at all in their activities. Some of the kids bully her and follow her around on purpose to annoy her. One girl tied her up with a jump rope and left her to get undone by herself. No one came to her rescue.

As a parent I wanted to make these kids feel the pain my child was feeling. I wanted to tell them and their parents to come and live in my shoes for a week and see what it is like to live with a child that was literally tossed away at birth and abused in every way one can imagine. Being treated like an outcast by her peers was so painful for her and for me. Luckily she has bonded with me, my husband and my 11 year old daughter, who was adopted from China at birth. She wants to know why kids are so mean to her and why she doesn?t have any friends. These are tough questions to answer. How can I expect her to understand and how do I instill in her a sense of respect for others when she is not treated well? Here is what I do and it works. My daughter, for all that she has been through is one of the most compassionate, kind, funny and caring little souls I know.

1) Listen to your children?s bad experiences with an open mind.
They say perception is reality and that is very true for a child. Let your child tell you what happened in detail. They need to vent and talk about what or who hurt them. Probe for details. Sometimes you will discover that the situation was blown a bit out of proportion. Reassure them and make them feel safe and supported. Don?t make the other child or person out to be the bad guy, but empathize as much as you can. Just having you listen and hug them and ?feel their pain? is extremely comforting for a child.

2) Give them suggestions on how to handle the situation if it occurs again.
After your child tells you the details of what or who hurt them, help them to figure out how they can deal with the problem in the future. Give them a set of tools to use ? words and actions. Teach them to be assertive, not aggressive. Teach them how to walk away from a situation and get an adult if you are not there. Emphasize that physically hurting another child is unacceptable, even if they were hit or kicked. In a school setting, they should be told to tell their teacher or the playground supervisor if something happens that they do not know how to handle.

3) Focus on the positive and boost their self-esteem as much as possible.
This is especially important if your child has been called ?stupid, fat, ugly, lazy, etc.? Assure them that you know they are a wonderful kid and to you they are very special. Be genuine. Kids can see through insincerity. Tell them that other children can be mean because they don?t know any other way to act. As hard as it is, don?t agree with their assessment of Sally being a jerk, even if she is one. Tell them Sally doesn?t have very good manners and that you know they know better than to call someone a bad name.

4) Role play difficult situations with your child.
If you are having a hard time understanding exactly what happened to upset your child, ask them to act it out with you. Let them play the role of the bully and you are your child. Sometimes children have difficulty communicating a bad situation, but if you ask them to show you or tell you what happened by being the ?bad guy? you can understand better. Do it twice. Once acting like you know your child acted ? angry, upset, confused, etc. and once acting the way you want them to practice acting ? in control, using their words, asserting themselves, etc. Practice this technique often with your child, it helps and it works!

5) If all else fails, go to the school and voice your complaints.
If the problems are occurring at school, make an appointment to talk to the teacher. It is important for them to be in the loop if there is a recurring situation at school that is negatively impacting your child. They are an extra set of eyes and ears and they can monitor your child?s moods and ask your child if they are OK if they seem upset. The more the teacher knows about what is happening, the better. If problems still occur, take it a step further and meet with the principal.

6) Don?t allow your child to play with kids that are not good influences.
This is difficult when you don?t have control of your child during the school week. However, if you can, volunteer or visit the classroom and scope out the kids that seem sensitive to the needs of others. If you work full-time and just can?t make it to school, call the teacher and ask for her help in matching your child up with the good role models. Plan a play date for your child and be involved the entire time so you can supervise and direct your child appropriately, when needed. If your little one is attracted to the bullies or troublemakers, discourage them from playing with them. This phenomenon will happen. As much as these kids hurt or torment your kid, for some reason they represent power and some kids will be attracted to that group because they pay attention to your child in negative ways, which is better than getting no attention at all. Discourage this kind of interaction! It?s unhealthy and does not promote good self-esteem.

There is nothing more difficult than knowing your child is hurting emotionally. Physical pain is easy to fix and take care of; emotional pain is so much harder. Constant reassurance, positive reinforcement for a job well done and lots of hugs and love will help your child deal with criticism from others. Instill a strong sense of self-esteem and confidence by focusing on the wonderful things your child does every day. Play down their weaknesses. Recognize them and actively help your child to improve in productive ways. Keep your expectations realistic, though. If your child isn?t a born athlete, don?t make them play soccer or baseball just to be social, it will only exacerbate their insecurities. Every child has special talents and gifts. Hone in on them and help your child bloom. If they feel good inside, the hurtful situations and people they will encounter throughout their entire lives will not seem so terrible.

The Art And Science Of Teaching In The United States

Yeats, philosopher, once said, "Education is not the filling of the pail, but the lighting of the fire" (www.quotations page.com). Teachers are the key to our children's future, they are the ones who will ignite their love for learning. Teaching contains two major concepts of learning, the arts and the science. The art is defined in the Encarta Encyclopedia as "the product of creative human activity in which material is shaped or selected to convey an idea, emotion, or visually interesting form." This describes exactly what a teacher does in a day, they create "human activity." While science is defined as, "a study of anything that can be examined, tested, or verified" (Encarta, 2003). The teacher is always studying the situation, examining what they can do, and verifying that their job has been complete. Teaching is an art and science that is learned and then developed through a teacher's learning style. 

Albert Einstein once said, "Believe it or not, one of my deepest regrets [is that I didn't teach]. I regret this because I would have liked to have more contact with children. There has always been something about the innocence and freshness of young children that appeals to me and brings me great enjoyment to be with them. And they are so open to knowledge. I have never really found it difficult to explain basic laws of nature to children. When you reach them at their level, you can read in their eyes their genuine interest and appreciation" (Parkway, 2001, p. 5). Albert Einstein was a mastermind and knew that teaching children was the only way to open little minds to great wisdom. It takes a special kind of person, one who knew that teaching was the life, not career, that they wanted to lead. Teachers are required to do the "dance", a way of smoothly persuading the students to achieve greatness. This is the mentally, emotional, and physically preparation "dance", or motion, that develops the entire package of teaching the students how to learn. This is the ability to maneuver through lesson plans, teaching strategies, print-rich classroom environments, classroom management, discipline tactics, parental lack of support or to much support, and all the other encounters teachers learn to juggle. This is the art and science of teaching, the ability to multi-task all the above items and still manage to accomplish the goal of teaching the students. 

Daniel Lipton, Educational Theorist, explains, "A love of learning, a love of inquiry, comes in many forms. In its carious manifestations we seem to reach beyond ourselves, to discover, create, and uncover. We invest ourselves in and engage ourselves with the world around us" (Lipton, 2000, 22). Teachers have made a commitment to their students, to the lasting learning process, and to the schools that they teach. This means that they are to find ways to teach their class everything that the students will need in their entire lifetime, not just the school year. Liston writes about the love of learning and teaching by stating: 

"As teachers we share this love of learning with our students. To teach is to share publicly this love; it is to ask others to be drawn in by the same powers that lure and attract us; it is to try to get our students to see the grace and attraction that these "great things" have for us. In teaching we reach out toward our students in an attempt to create connections among them and our subjects. We want them to love what we find so alluring.

"As a teacher, you cannot settle for anything less than complete knowledge and dedication to your students. This requires an eagerness to teach the students to achieve far beyond their expectations of the classroom, a desire to stay educated. An example would be, that of a parent not letting their child leave the home without the proper sills and developments to live by themselves. Teachers do not want their "children" to go into life without the proper education" (Cain, 2001). 

Liston writes, "Good teaching entails a kind of romantic love of the learning enterprise; it is motivated by and infuses other with a love of inquiry-if guided by an enlarged love, teaching can become an ongoing struggle that nourishes our students' and our own soul." (Liston, 2000, p. 81). Teaching is based on both a physical and emotional level, or "emotional and intellectual work." No matter what the age or grade level that is taught, teachers are effective through emotions and ideas on how to spark the students' interests in learning. When a teacher is successful in a lesson plan, it feels as though anything can be conquered. This is an affirmation that most professions will never achieve in their careers (Liston, 2000). Teachers have learned that their art of teaching is to shape and explore the needing minds of their students. 

Frank Smith, a leading educational theorist, remarks, "The brutally simple motivation behind the development and imposition of all systematic instructional programs is a lack of trust that the teacher can teach and that the student can learn. To be effective, teachers must have flexibility to tailor their methods to the needs of individual students" (Perlich, 2000, pg. 1). This is the art and the science of teaching. The ability to put the trust back into the teacher and the students and to do it in a creative manner. Lesson planning is one of the ways that teachers can develop flexibility and tailor the needs of individual students. This is because the lesson plan is the core of the classroom stability and what will really make the student want to learn. There is a special art/style that a teacher must possess in order to accommodate to these classes. Lesson plans need to hold onto the child's interest and also to each student's learning style. The lesson should be well thought out and very well planned, on the teacher's behalf. Lesson plans should follow these simple rules: 

1. Identify the special needs of each student through assessment and evaluation. 
2. Choose a lesson based on the needs of the group and the experiences or lessons wanted to learn. 
3. Make good decisions on how the book will be used in the class (Batzle, 1996). 

Other questions a teacher might think of when developing lesson plans is is it interesting to the students and how long will it keep their attention. Learning should be fun and not something that gets moans and groans when talking about. Sesame Street is a great program for children to watch and this program is done in a manner that children, as young as 12 months, don't realize that they are learning. Melanie Roberts, Special Education Teacher, noticed that her 20 month old son could count to 20 without her help. Upon further investigation, she found that he had learned this from Sesame Street. He didn't even know he was learning because he was enjoying what he was doing (Roberts, 2003). This is how teacher's lessons should be, an unknown learning process. A way to do this is to always educate yourself and learn new strategies for teaching subjects. 

For reading, a fun and educational lesson plan would be to have the students read or have the teacher read a favorite book. When the book is finished assess the students by shared writing or a writing workshop. An example would be reading the book, "Stone Soup". After having read the book, the students will then have the student make the story into a poster, create a new ending in groups, use a setting to create a postcard, or create a paper doll for each character and act out the book. The teacher can even have a special stone and make soup with the class after the lesson and assessment has been done. There are so many ways to have the students learn without realizing this. 

Diane Perlich, leader for the California Literature Project, states, "Any way you look at it, children in our classroom will live in the future and it is our responsibility as educators to provide the learning environment in which they can be successfully prepared" (Perlich, 2000, p.1). A print rich environment is so important in developing a positive atmosphere that will provide learning in the classroom. With this aura developed by the teacher, the students will be able to openly express their thoughts and personality, breaching the door between a higher thought process and that child. This room will provide a place for the students to escape from any hardships they might encounter outside of the classroom and allow this place to be their "safe haven". A good example of how to make a classroom print-rich friendly is to have a moveable word wall. This is a giant piece of paper with the alphabet attached to it. When the students learn a new word, their spelling words, etc. the teacher attaches that word to the "Word Wall" under the appropriate letter. This will help with phonics, sight reading, and memorization of words. A literacy-rich environment would include, learning centers, colorful rugs, or grouped seating arrangements, Anything can make a classroom print-friendly, as long as the classroom will allow the students to feel important and comfortable when learning. 

Lelia Christie Mullis, teacher of 20 years, writes, she encourages "students to reach back into their own memories and remember the fears, the embarrassment, and the joy of learning they felt." I hope they will give their students a liter positive environment, full of oral and written languages, which breeds joy more than any other emotion, That magical process we call learning can change lives forever (Perlich, 2000, p. 105). This is what teacher strive for, a place where learning is the center of each student's thinking. A teacher must be able to bring the information to the students in the way that she creatively thinks is effective. She must be able to establish positive relations with her students and their parents. She must create the lesson plans that she feels will be significant. The teacher must be the master of her room, allowing the atmosphere to reflect her teaching style. She must have complete control of her classroom and what happens inside of it. This is called education and, education is the art and science of teaching.